By Casey Hoskins
I look at my life right now and it seems quiet. There are no teenagers with cars and their own agendas, no practices, no back-to-back doctor visits, no school stuff to speak of, just quiet. At least on the Mom-front. If I look a little closer it doesn’t take much to see a whirlwind of activity but for the first time in too many years to count, it is me creating most of the whirl in that wind!
After a year of “winter”, of pushing, trudging, learning, and trusting I have been given a breakthrough. My children are all adjusting to their new/newish roles as young adults which allows me room to adjust to my new role of…well, me. I am, admittedly, a little apprehensive in some areas, still making sure that I am available at the drop of a hat. In those areas that make me happy though, I am learning to stretch.
Most of the stretching is happening on the business front right now but that makes sense. My business has been my outlet for 12 years, always there to catch me when I feel like I am tumbling down the rabbit hole. That role is changing. I am finding the courage to expand on the things that bring me joy and in doing so, joy to others. You know, when I talk about this I start to compare myself to other mothers who have started businesses with children and have done it more expertly than I have. The next part of that thought process though is remembering that I made choices that worked for me and my family. There really isn’t any comparison. It would be like trying to compare my petite brunette child with my tall redhead. It doesn’t work. I have no regrets on how I split my time over the last decade or so and certainly no qualms with how I am choosing to operate my life now.
Growth is individual and spiritual and full of potential. My growth cannot be labeled by anyone else and is certainly negative. It is a little strange to put myself first on more occasions but that is just the learning curve at play. I know that my family will always come first and that my intentions for myself include that of my family. I feel like I am talking to someone specific right now, I hope it is helpful. Maybe I’m just talking to my 30 year old self, letting her know she can calm the hey down!
I am excited for spring! The flowers, yes, but also for the dreams that are coming true and growing into new ones. For the longer days, the hikes, the road trips, the new people I am going to meet at my new location, and the bbqs I will be having! There is so much to look forward to and I don’t want to miss a minute of it.
