By Iuri Melo
Wow, it’s truly amazing to have you here, seeking the wisdom to deal with failure better. Today, we embark on a journey to learn the art of falling up! But before we dive into this exciting adventure, let’s take a moment to explore the world of rock climbing.
Rock climbing, one of my beloved hobbies, encompasses both physical and mental challenges. The sheer beauty of climbing in breathtaking locations captivates me. Two decades ago, as I began my career as a therapist, I discovered the therapeutic value of climbing. It became apparent that climbing had a unique way of teaching the very principles I aimed to impart in my therapy sessions. The language of climbing naturally aligned with the therapeutic model, leading me to introduce clients to the world of climbing as a transformative and experiential tool.
Climbing teaches a profound lesson – the redefinition of failure. Many perceive failed attempts as an overall failure, adopting this identity as their own. They tend to associate mistakes with a chronic inability to succeed. Unfortunately, this common misconception of failure permeates our lives and culture.
When I introduce clients to climbing, I expect them to fail initially. However, in the midst of those failed attempts, growth occurs. Skills develop, muscles strengthen, and the desire to climb intensifies. I emphasize to my clients that the only difference between us on the rock is time and experience. I am not inherently gifted; I have simply invested time and effort into climbing. I assure them that with dedication, their bodies will adapt, enabling them to succeed in this exhilarating activity.
My goal is to transform their perception of failure, to see it as an essential part of growth and evolution. I often assign climbing projects that may take months to complete, involving countless falls before a single success. This process helps remove the sting of failure, allowing my clients to soften their relationship with it.
Falling is an integral and thrilling aspect of climbing. As clients progress, I guide them towards becoming lead climbers, increasing the risk of falling from various heights. Falling safely becomes a crucial skill to master. It is during this process that critical concepts are learned:
1. Failing is vital for excellence: Failure is a natural part of becoming proficient at anything. Rather than resisting or objecting to failure, we should embrace it as an essential aspect of the learning process.
2. Failure is not predictive of future performance: Do not allow failure to define or limit you. Mistakes are stepping stones towards progress, and personal investment guarantees a change in outcome.
3. Shift quickly from failure: Emotional maturity lies in the ability to swiftly adapt and learn from mistakes. Dwelling on failures and wallowing in self-pity hinders growth and resilience.
4. Find humor and celebrate failures: Laughter allows us to view past mistakes with newfound perspective. By learning from our failures and embracing a positive mindset, we can change our relationship with them.
As we redefine failure and shape our responses to it, we become more patient with ourselves and extend compassion to others. Motivation remains intact, and identification with mistakes fades away. Embracing failure as a catalyst for growth keeps us flexible, motivated, happier, and resilient.
So my friend, remember Buzz Lightyear’s advice and educate your brain to “fall with style.” With time, you will experience heightened motivation, recognizing that failing up is always a possibility. Thank you for joining me on this journey towards a better understanding of failure. Until next time!
