Posted January 16, 2024
By Casey Hoskins
Snow days, icicles, hot tea and snow-capped trees. These are a few of my favorite things! Just kidding, I’m only a fan of the snow because I don’t have to be out in it. It is meant strictly for my viewing purposes and to feel cozy while drinking tea. As beautiful as it is, snow makes me feel a little trapped and that is an unsettling feeling.
I have been told a time or two that winter is meant for healing and rebirth. I get the rebirth part. I am still working on my 2024 goals, currently avoiding my quarterly marketing calendar, and planning what upgrades I want to do to a few spaces at home & work. Now is the time for a little rejuvenation to my tattered entrepreneurial spirit. I love to plan and organize, which is perfect for the winter season!
The healing part is a little harder for me this time though. When I was a younger mom this time of year meant indoor activities with my kiddos. We would cover the entire table in art supplies and paint our way out of a gray day. We would bake something yummy and put on a favorite movie on Sunday afternoon. Sometimes we would even go bowling! I miss that. That was healing for me. The house is quiet now, and I have a business to run, which takes up a lot of my time. During the warmer months I make time to do other things but not so much in the winter. Our world is not the same and I am struggling to decide on whether or not to see that as a good thing. Maybe it isn’t good or bad, maybe it just is. That is how change works, afterall.
There is a change that I am really starting to pay attention to though, and that is community. It is time I start building one for myself. I am all about volunteering but that keeps me at arm’s length, only engaging to the degree in which I am comfortable. Now it is time for me to start reaching out and asking others to join me as friends. That is damn difficult for a “severely independent” (as my sister-in-law once put it) person such as myself. To do this means I have to be okay enough with who I am to let some of my walls down. It means that the knowledge of my being a highly sensitive person can help me navigate conversation, thoughts, and opinions without taking offense. The hardest part is the vulnerability hangover that comes from opening up. I do not know if I can handle that…but I will try.
Winter is hard. The simple act of walking in and out of a door is interrupted this time of year. If that can’t even be easy then nothing else will be either. I guess my hope is that I learn to have grace for myself as I do others. That if I am sad about being on my own so much I can be brave enough to reach out and find a kindred spirit. To trust that I have done enough healing to feel like I am worthy of having people in my life that will like and love me for who I am. I know that anyone who walks through my door is always welcome and treated with all the kindness I possess. I pray that is true in reverse.
Thanks for reading, friend!
Casey Hoskins
