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We Could A Use A Little Tunnel Vision Now & Again

By Casey Hoskins

I had to go to the gym early this morning, instead of my normal 7am time, which ensures that exactly 3 people will be there, letting me walk in mental peace. Not this morning. As I pulled in I saw more cars than I would have liked but I was already there and was not going to waste this much needed time for myself. The treadmills were all empty so I went to my normal station, put on my favorite podcast and got to climbing those hills. Next thing I know I am being descended upon by three women who are intent on running as fast as they can right next to me. No matter, I keep my eyes forward on the two dots I always stare at while I listen to my podcast, willing myself to focus on the words being spoken and on the effort I am putting into my walk. The ladies leave, my podcast ends, and I have completed another 30 minutes of much needed exercise.

Welcome to the life and musings of a middle-aged woman! Every morning I get up and wonder if my pants will fit the same way they did the day before or has my fluff moved to a new and wonderful place. Just the other morning I was wiping what I thought was left over make-up from under my eyes but saw nothing on the tissue. It was dark circles folks, I was trying to wipe away dark circles. Two things jump out at me right there; 1. Maybe if I did some yoga before bed it would allow for better sleep, 2. I need to get my eyes checked again, I think I may need a little more magnification added to my glasses.

All of this may sound eerily similar to complaining but in truth I love getting older. My younger years were fraught with falsities spoken as truths, giving me my own brand of self-doubt. There are those that loved being a teenager or reminisce about how wonderful and wild their 20s were. Nope, those times were downright awful for me. Awkward is another word to describe it. As I have gotten older I have learned to re-write my story, how to let go when needed and how to create and keep boundaries. Yes, my body is not totally in agreement with what I think it should look like but overall, I am a happy, well-adjusted woman who knows how to use tunnel-vision while at the gym. Since we have to age, why not do it with as much humor as possible and with the grace of a clumsy child. Ha! Have a good day friends!

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