By Casey Hoskins
Do you remember playing tag in school? Running endlessly but with complete abandon and a huge smile on your face the whole time seemed right back then. This was my son’s favorite game to play, second only to climbing, before his legs became less reliable. Very early in life he ended up where we do as middle-aged adults, stuck by our limitations. The only difference is that we put them on ourselves but I am wondering if we have to live with them permanently.
If you’ve been following along, my theme lately has been about change, growth, and self-care. I am, and many others I know, are in the middle of that right now just muddling through. I have gotten so stuck in missing a specific time in my life that I have gone blind to all of the possibilities that right now is affording me. I’m not talking about a complete life change or sky-diving (um…no), I am talking about re-discovery. What makes me (you) do something with complete abandon and do I (you) even know what that looks like anymore?
I love what I do, feel called to it in fact, but my upholstery is not all of me. It is the place I have buried myself for the last few years and certainly the place that kept me going through the tough parts but it isn’t all of me. What is? I remember spending a summer in Texas with my grandparents and one day I had to stay at my grandpa’s, which was incredibly boring, so I went wandering through the house. I came upon a small closet in the spare bedroom that housed all kinds of treasures from the past. Old photos, military uniforms, and other odds and ends that made me completely happy. I had discovered my love for all things vintage. In the early 90’s vintage wasn’t a thing yet and my mom was a crafter, not a collector so this was something just for me. That discovery led me down a beautiful path and eventually to my upholstery and I am grateful, but now I want to discover something new.
I do not know what else I am good at but I know that I have a mind for tinkering and if I travel I like it to be in the heart of things where walking is the ideal way to get around. My world is wonderfully small and that is a joy, but am I limiting myself to this smallness because it is comfortable? What else can I find if I start looking at the scary things that have the potential to cause stress as opportunities to grow and discover. Maybe just being open to the idea is all that is needed. Either way, I am making the decision to stop reminiscing and sitting in the uncomfortableness these new changes are creating. If I am going to be uncomfortable it should be for a good reason! Maybe a dance class would be fun. Who knows until you try, right?
