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Leaves & Other Changing Things

By Casey Hoskins

The leaves are starting to change, the mornings are cooler, and school is in full swing. This time of year holds so much energy and excitement, it really helps pull a girl out of her funk. Summer was long and full of too many emotional extremes. It produced quite a bit more gray hair and I tried to convince my hairdresser to dye them…she said no. It isn’t my way and she knows that. That small gesture made all the difference. 

I had a visit from someone who I enjoy chatting with and she gave me some great advice that I would like to share. The truth of the matter is that for the last few months I have been struggling with my older ones being out of the house and not needing me the way they used to. To be brutally honest, I feel like I put entirely too much energy into missing a certain time in my life but I just could not shake iit. This is where the advice comes in. I was told that I was mourning and that it was okay. It may sound a bit extreme but that doesn’t make it any less true. Distraction, sadness, extremes in my energy levels, not sleeping, sleeping too much, it all tracks. When you love to mom as much as so many of us do we don’t see the turn that comes with our kids growing up. It isn’t to say that raising them was all rainbows but we were needed in a way that defined us. 

I don’t really have a moral to this story, or an uplifting message this time. Sharing is the point of this article, being vulnerable and open because it is needed. Life is changing and that is good. I (and my husband but for the sake of the point I am trying to make…) raised kind, strong, and understanding humans who contribute to the world around them. That means I get to continue on my path and keep discovering ways that I can contribute as well. Teaching through action would be the one thing that never changes, no matter how old your children get. Also, I have women in my life that know me and still want to spend time with me. That is still a little unbelievable, I’m not the easiest person. What I’m saying is that the strength, courage, and fulfillment I found in being a mom will eventually translate in a way that is useful to my life as it is now. I can’t wait.

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