By Casey Hoskins
When the kids were in their middle ages we were always busy and springtime was the busiest! The sun was out more than it wasn’t, the bikes were begging for a ride and I was absolutely, unequivocally done being inside. This year’s weather seems to be a bit on the indecisive side and I have gotten complacent.
One of my favorite things to do this time of year was taking the kids to the Greenbelt with a picnic lunch and wandering for hours. We would go down to the water’s edge to see if it was any warmer (because if the air is warmer the water should be too, right?). The girls would swing until their toes touched the clouds while Ethan ran up the play structure and slid down the slide until I called for lunch. All the things we did were free because Mama was broke and all the money Dad made went to bills. It was the best way to have fun.
What am I doing now that the kids are grown? I work more. I plan to spend time walking, plant a few flowers, and read a book outside but I never seem to get there. I blame it on being tired but then I hear that voice in my head that says I’m too young to be this tired and I need to get off my keister and make things happen. Ugh. I was raised by a farm girl and a Marine, it is ingrained that I not be lazy…ever or I will fail at life. How’s that for motivation?! Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I am just wondering where my zeal for spring went. The house is getting cleaner by the day, and I have added to my wood pile for future projects but without little ones to occupy I find myself a little lost. Over the last few years I have trained myself to get as much work done in between kid stuff as possible not realizing the habit I was getting myself into. Now that I have more time on my hands I not only wonder what to do with it but I struggle to give myself permission as well.
My proposal to myself is to suck it the heck up and get for that walk. It’s the least I can do for me and I really should stop waiting for the perfect weather, it isn’t named Mother Nature for nothin’. Maybe I can recapture some of that joy I had with the kids by taking that walk on the Greenbelt for myself. Doing things for myself feels foreign and with my husband going into his busy season I will be on my own a lot. What does a mom do outside of work and kids? There has to be some kind of documentary on the subject somewhere. What about you? What are your suggestions? I’d love to hear them.