Right now, at this very moment, life is crazy! I am expanding the business, planning and saving for a road trip with my two of my kiddos, learning how to run a business more effectively/efficiently, making time for impromptu family gatherings, doctors appointments, and spring cleaning. That is not the whole list, as you well know, because you are most likely a mother and/or creative and have your own list that you will be working on for at least a week after death, not realizing what happened. Honestly, what would we do if we didn’t have a million things to keep our creative energy flowing?
There are those of you reading this that know me, work with me, and support me…and you are all collectively thinking I have way too much on my plate. I will not deny that my plate is full but I will argue on whether or not it is too much. For years I spread my time between one child with many (oh-so-many) health issues and hospital visits, and two other children who just needed me to mom for all their things. Add to that the church groups, volunteer time, vacations, friends, and crafting. What I’m saying is that I need to be active, not busy (that is a whole ‘nother state of being) with a full schedule to be at my happiest. Yes, there are times I run too hard and have to stop for a bit and balance is definitely a work in progress but this is what I need. We are in a pocket of good health right now and that means I need to do all I can before that door closes again.
Over the years I have watched my son go in and out of pockets of good health and well-being. It is just part of his diagnosis. What I learned, very early on, is to stack my time with all the things that have been put on the back burner while my boy is in these pockets. I really don’t see the difference in working on my passions in a more concentrated manner and putting all of my energy into my kids’ mental, physical, and emotional health while coordinating doctor appointments and eminent surgeries for my one with special needs. The negative stress and emotional drain that comes from one is reversed with the other. The biggest difference is the energy I get from my creativity. It is a wellspring of positivity and I need all the help I can get.
Think of it like storing energy. When I am allowed to pursue my own interests for a time, at whatever speed I want, I am creating and storing some serious positive energy. It is this energy that gets me through the long hospital stays while my boy is fighting through another issue. My mind has something to play with, to manipulate into exactly what I want. By the time we are in another pocket I am ready to go with all my wonderful ideas! Making sense yet?
We have a choice on how to spend our time. It may not always be understood because the reasons behind the choices can only be understood by those making them. That does not make it wrong or impossible. I have paid attention to how I respond to life’s hurdles and know myself well enough to navigate these seasons, gaining more wisdom through each. So yes, my planner is full to bursting and by Sunday I can barely do a load of laundry to completion, but that is okay. We each heal and grow in our way and in our time. I sincerely hope you have a happy place to jump into when the time is right.
