By Casey Hoskins
Posted January 31, 2024
“Mom, guess what?!”, is probably one of my favorite things to hear. Generally it’s coming from my redhead who has either aced a test or has been causing some mischief. Either way, I’m thrilled that I get to be a part of it!
I am learning to navigate this adult parenting thing. What that really means is that I am starting to make my peace with the fact that I have to be invited into their lives and stories. It is a strange transition but it is making me all the more grateful for our relationships. There is such joy in getting to know them as they are now, wondering what these life experiences will produce. Part of this story though is getting to know myself better as life progresses.
Do you know how behind on life I feel right now? When I chose to put all of my focus on making our son as strong as he could be through his trials, and to love on the girls as equally as I loved on him, I effectively made the choice to put my life on hold. No regrets, just observation. Now I get to start it back up and holy-moly the choices in front of me! Just think about that for a minute. You have all the choices a new adult (18 year old) gets but with all the wisdom and time you have gained getting to your 40s. You have the money but also the knowledge of what it will take, and the consequences, good and bad, that come with any choice you make. As a self-confessed overthinker I am feeling a little manic a lot of the time right now!
This is where I am choosing to find joy. Joy in the fog outside because it gives my shop a cozy atmosphere to work in. Joy in the random Facetime calls I get from my college-bound kiddo. Joy in the fact that my son has chosen to be a part of my business. Joy in the evenings spent with my husband and having conversations. Joy in the fact that I have a whole nother act in my life that I get to embark on. That’s a lot of joy!
We all know that happiness is a choice but I don’t know that we often exercise our right to that choice. We, I, let circumstance dictate how I feel and react to life…or I did. In my endeavor to create a life I want I have been forced to face the fact that I don’t know things I feel I should by now. After some meditation on the not-knowing, I discovered what I do know. I had a child with Spina Bifida and all I knew at the time was how to spell it. My choice was to become an expert on it and my son, and now I am. If I can do that then those other things I don’t know and should, had better watch out, I’m coming for them! In a less dramatic voice, I am choosing the positive side of things and giving myself the option to learn with help.
In the end we get to decide how we view our life and in doing so how others view us. I want to have a life full of love, experience, determination, happiness and good memories. I want to be that Grandma with all the stories, told with a smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. My choice is joy.
